Sometimes you just gotta create your own fun....

the noctural beast wanders the pier alone with a sense of melancholy all his own
he is disturbed by the sound of nothing in particular
and senses he is no longer alone
turning on his paws he is faced by no more than the thought of living alone
and it chills him to his bones
he turns again and walks headlong into someone coming in the opposite direction
he apologises profusly and dusts himself off
when he regains his composure and looks up
he is blinded by that which is before him
acting on impulse alone he stammers out the first thing that comes to mind:
"Would you like to have coffee?"

chonda bib wee nak?

chonda bib wee nak? mescal tinta saloom banda qerti chonda? sa'll uio tehu drehu wervuntij ak. opopopthemna ecfertzuis toma! euyche thunda swunj alah. uytherd ujza biugh opopopthemja. thymy ghartblak flutherghie Moomsiedamaconstap. chonch 3 kjoiungh qaz nheifder oqoz lkik xeuxifraxwiq?

Spatial Thanks

My thanks go out to the following who made this all possible... my manager (if i had one), my agent (if i had one), my mother and to a lesser extent my father for having me (I think), that big ol' sturby His Masters Voice telly, egg and bacon mcmuffins (ooo!), my third grade maths teacher (she was a hotty!), Jaqueline Bisset, carl, derek, muffo, kombayya, you know who you are (yes you do), my mechanic, the guy that makes my coffee every morning (you rock, dude!), the guy that punches my ticket every morning, that guy I punched the other week and it made me feel all better about myself, Batman, everyone I've ever met who didn't think I was an asshole, Brian DePalma, Joe Ranft, whoever invented the post-it note god bless you, my little sister, my bigger sister, the one who ran away, my favorite cushion, my iPod, my best friend, Harry Belafonte, english muffin, that cop who generously let me go when i was over the limit, Carl Jung, whoever designed this great shirt, the Visa Credit Card company, Smith ... and Wesson, King Kong, Biggs Darklighter, the sexy blonde who turned me down at the bar last week, Carl Sagan, the sweet dudes that sell me my comics each week, oporto's (you know who you are), my gran and her cat and last but most certainly not least i'd like to thank e for making this all possible. couldn't have done it without you, e. i love you.
good night and god bless.

WTF?

have you ever been reading a magazine and come across a stray pubic hair neatly parallel to the center fold? well, it's mine and I want it back.

chocolate beams of light
scan the sky so bright
moon red dancing o'er trees
missing me minute degrees
scale the wall a ferny glare
my shadow friend i'm unaware
still closer now to my desire
the treasure trove i will acquire
but curses, damnit and all to hell
I shouldn't have texted it to michelle
she beat me to the turkish delight
on this so sour and cursed night